EP 014 - Finding What You Love, Boundaries & Why Being Picky is Good with Jordan Gray

Who is Jordan?

Jordan is a sex and relationship coach. Jordan has published several books on Amazon which have become Amazon best sellers.

Why did I bring Jordan onto the show?

I brought Jordan onto to the show due to his outlook on emotions, relationships and people. I knew that having Jordan on the show would lead to a rich conversation that would provide listeners with valuable insights about how to live a more purpose-filled life.

Jordan’s work has been featured on BBC, Entrepreneur and Business Insider.  Jordan launched his consulting business 3 years ago and now does over 6 figures in revenue annually via his coaching and blog. He has millions of monthly visitors to his website and has illustrated the content he creates is having a positive impact on people’s lives.

Jordan specializes in providing relationship advice, with everything from improving how long you last in bed to what everyone needs in a partner. Recently Jordan has taken a step away from relationships and has been writing more about living a deliberate life. In this episode, we dive into living intentionally, what sparked Jordan to move into his Next Chapter and much more.

What’s in this Episode for You?

Finding What You Love (4:04)

Early in the episode we discuss how Jordan knew becoming a sex and relationship coach was something he always wanted to do. Let’s say the fact that his room was filled with psychology, relationship and sexuality books was a slight hint.

We discuss the importance of feeling fortunate to do the work you do each and every day and how Jordan first discovered this by interning for free at a company for over 100 days.

What’s Holding You Back from Going after Your Dreams and How to Overcome It? (8:11)

Jordan talks about how the only thing holding people back from pursing their dreams is fear. Fear of not being good enough and lack of self-worth are the two biggest factors that hold people back.

We talk about overcoming that fear and some mindsets to help you move forward by tackling the obstacles that are standing in your way.

Jordan shares his personal story about how he moved from Vancouver to Thailand with no real “business plan” and only an idea to build a business. He talks about how we was able to overcome his personal fears and what he did in order to be able to make a living abroad (19:22).

He opens up about the selfie video that he took in the Vancouver airport where he’s bawling his eyes out before boarding the plane and how he keeps this video on his desktop as a reminder to how far he’s come. This is truly an inspiring story about the fears we all have to tackle in order to build the life we dream of (25:10).

How to Create Healthy Boundaries and the Importance of Having Them (38:21)

We dive into boundaries and how I believe this is one of the most critical things that Jordan teaches. We discuss how anger is an emotional barometer that we need to utilize to create healthy relationships with ourselves and others.

We talk about outgrowing friendships and how to move away from relationships that are no longer serving you. We also discuss the importance of honoring your core values and recognizing that you’re allowed to say “no” to anything in this world, including family.

One of the most interesting points in the podcast for me was when Jordan brought up a reframe about time. Jordan believes that people typically view time as easily expendable. Jordan suggests that we view time as money. When your friends or family ask for your time, ask yourself is this how you would want to spend your money?

If the answer is “no” you have a clear indication of how much time you should be spending with that person (44:41). It may not mean totally cutting someone out of your life but it may mean reducing the amount of time and activities you do with that individual.

Dive into the episode to hear more.

“To be able to crave our, honor you core values by saying ‘no’ to these things, ‘no’ to most things, which gives you the space to say ‘yes’ to the things that actually matter to you.”

- Jordan Gray

Time Notes

The microphone of society has never been more available – 3:59

All the greats effected humanity because they were “playing” – 6:03

Find work you would do for free, that you can’t not do – 6:30

What holds people from taking the leap? – 8:06

Worst case scenarios – 10:00

Laying on your death bed and looking back – 12:22

Jordan takes off to Thailand and sells 95% of his possessions – 17:25

Figuring out what he wants to do – 18:06

Building up courage – 23:09

Coping with his own personal fear – 24:56

That is the name of the game, constant experimentation 26:05

Breathing through fear – 28:52

Succeeding using your own personal gifts – 29:55

Major growth in his blog happened by focusing on his talents – 33:15

What sparked Jordan to pivot and move onto his Next Chapter – 35:01

Honoring the creative impulses that emerged from him – 36:06

Quieting the lizard brain – 36:54

BOUNDARIES – 38:21

Anger is a healthy emotion for boundaries – 38:57

Honoring your values – 39:18

How to look at your time – 43:48

Outgrowing relationships and friendships – 45:53

What is the most important skill for humanity?  – 50:27

Spending more time with people who magnify your well-being in the world – 54:30

Jordan’s favorite books – 55:45

Jordan’s favorite blogs – 57:54

Contact Info

Jordan can be reached through his website and all his books, courses and blog posts can be found there as well.

Mentioned in the Podcast:

Brene Brown

So Good They Can’t Ignore

The Alchemist

Six Pillars of Self Esteem

Mastery of Love

Mark Manson

Ben Greenfield